Another Butch, Another Day … Since 2004

Hy, Hys, Hym = Female Masculine Lesbian Butch pronouns

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A Silent Thank You

On Sunday, the 27th of December 2015, I had left my partner’s home and was driving home after spending a wonderful Christmas with her. During the time I was there, we bought, put up and decorated the tree. A tradition that comes from Germany, the country of her birth. We cooked Christmas dinner together, continually sampling the dressing as it cooked away in the crock-pot. Making certain that it still tasted as good as it did the last time it was stirred. We smiled, laughed and spent time together. Time that I cherish no matter where we are or what we are doing. I am fortunate, I am blessed.

On the way home, I stopped at a services for a coffee, a meal and a much needed bathroom break and that was when it happened. As I strolled into the facilities, looking this way and that for a vacant cubicle, I noticed a young girl and her mother who were walking ahead of me. The young girl kept glancing over her shoulder at me and whispering rather loudly to her mother.  I entered a cubicle, did what I came to do and walked out. It wasn’t until I got into the more open section of the building and was trying to decide if I wanted a sandwich or a hot meal that I really gave mother and daughter any thought.

Just as I made my decision and turned to join the line for the cooked meals, a female voice behind me softly said “Excuse me”. I turned to face the disembodied voice and saw both mother and daughter standing there. The young girl’s cheeks were cherry red from an embarrassed blush and the mother was smiling brightly. “I wonder if I could take up a moment of your time” the mother said. I nodded and replied affirmatively  and she continued. “I wanted to apologize for my daughter’s behavior in the restroom”. I was surprised but tried not to show just how much. I smiled softly and glanced at the young girl before looking her mother in the eye and telling her that while an apology wasn’t needed, it was appreciated. What I didn’t say, was it would have been even more appreciated if it had come from the young girl, who appeared to be about thirteen.

The mother went on to explain that her daughter had assumed I was male due to my attire and my extremely short hair. I nodded as I listened knowing full well that at first glance to most people, I do appear to be male. It isn’t just my attire or my haircut, it is also the energy I give off, my mannerisms, my bearing and of course my lack of breasts. For those of you reading my blog for the first time, I lost them to cancer fourteen years ago. Anyway, I digress. The mother told me that she was trying to make sure that her daughter was brought up to know that not everyone is the same. That being the same as the next person, whether they are a stranger, a friend or a family member is not good. That people should be themselves, that they should be comfortable with who they are.

It was refreshing to hear this. In a world where so many parents try to force their children to embrace their beliefs and norms. I know at least one young girl that has been given a choice. I hope she takes full advantage of that and grows up to be a responsible and caring adult.

So as the title states, I offer a silent thank you to this mother having verbally thanked her at the time. I wish there were more like her.

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Having heard those dreaded words twice, my heart goes out to fellow author Sandra Moran, her wife and their families. They are some of the most horrific words a person can hear and for those who are close friends, or even acquaintances, they can be just as harsh.

I had the honour of meeting Sandra Moran in this past summer at the GCLS Conference in New Orleans. Sadly, I didn’t get to chat with her very much as I’m certain this well-studied woman with several books under her belt has a lot of wisdom to impart. But I did get to experience not only her infectious smile but her sense of humour and since then have gone out of my way to purchase her books.

I am so thankful that Sandra Moran has so many people rallying around at this change of journey. I would be lying if I said this is an easy path and I know some of us have personally traveled it or walked beside someone else as they did.

It can be the little things that mean the most. It is certainly the things that bring a spontaneous burst of laughter or a smile. It is the positive, the thoughts, the prayers, the hope. Even if you don’t know the person as well as someone else, it still counts.

Thank you for touching my life in a positive way, Sandra. You will never know what it meant to me. Thank you for sharing your talent with us, for being the person you are. Know that you are in my thoughts as you travel this path.

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How Many Shades of What??

While looking after “Das Haus” and all that is within its walls, I have come across books that I have yet to read. This is always a nice discovery, for me at least, as I am a somewhat avid reader … but then so is my partner … hence the finding of books.
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Farewell to Robin Williams…

A touching farewell from Dante Basco (Rufio in ‘Hook’)

Dante Basco: My take on life...

Today Robin Williams past away and it’s been so surreal, it felt like it came out of nowhere… A text message from a friend made me aware of the news and frantically I jumped online to see if it was true. Sadly, I found out it was and even more sad, I read of the circumstances. I couldn’t keep reading the stories online for it’s too sad.

At times like this, I get very reflective and being a writer, I guess it’s best to write and what better place but my blog. It’s surreal because I haven’t seen Robin for many years yet in he’s so connected to me due to his close involvement in the biggest role of my career in “Hook” where he played Peter Pan and I played the punk kid who took over as leader of the Lost Boys when he left Neverland… Rufio.

Although working…

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Martians and Pirates and Soldiers, Oh My !!!

How can one pay tribute to someone with such a vast repetroire of accomplishments?
I cannot answer that question in its entirity though I am compelled to try.
The first I knew of Robin Williams was as a comedic Martian in the TV series Mork and Mindy (1978-1982).
Through the mistakes of the character and his transmissions back to Ork (Mork calling Orson, come in Orson) M&M
at the end of each show, we may have become imprinted and in some small way, our lives changed.
Through the laughter, I know mine did, so much so that I now have every Mork and Mindy episode.
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“Wingardium Leviosa!!” or words to that effect.

There are not many authors around that I can complemint by saying I have read all their books. J.K. Rowling however is one of those on the list and she has taken yet another step on the ladder of respect in my opinion. Perhaps other authors have done the same thing and it has either never come to light or I never read about it, I cannot say for sure which is true.

J.K. Rowling began her tremendous rise to success with her series of books about Harry Potter. They have pride of place on my bookcase and the DVDs are part of my collection too. The books, I feel I can safely say, became a dream world for many readers … a means of escape from the day-to-day drama, stress and sadness that we all meet at one time or another. The antics of the wizarding trio composed of bespectacled Harry, the red-headed Ron Weasley and the sensitive yet obnoxious (at times) brainiac Hermione Granger keep you turning pages, not wanting to put the books down. The bullying of Draco Malfoy and his 2 sheepish cohorts, add a sad realism to a fictional fantasy world. The teachers, whom I am sure we all wish “our” teachers had been like, show care even through grumbling and snapping as in the way of Professor Severus Snape.
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Ponderings of the sexual and serious nature

On the morning of July 25th 2014, I was making my way from Victoria coach station to Victoria tube station. It was in the midst of the morning rush hour and all around me people were heading to work, to the shops, to appointments, or perhaps they were meeting a friend for breakfast … who knows, this is London after all and strange things have been know to occur here.

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