A discussion on service

I found this thread on ButchFemmeDance.com and the following is my response to the questions asked.

For the record, I identify as a Butch female, a Top, a Syr and I have on occasion, been called a Daddi, though it is not a title I feel that I have either earned or deserve. I believe that while the basics of D/s may be the same, that we as tops find our own niches and ways to do things. It also depends on the “style” you follow. I, for example am Old Guard. Someone else may be Victorian or Gorean and they each are different.

For the sake of answering these questions, I will take it that we are referring to non-sexual service, but if I am wrong, please do point this out since your original post didn’t state it.

* As a top what service do you expect to receive and from whom?

As a top, if I have a girl or boi in my service, I would expect them to look after my desires/needs, not all or all the time. I would not expect to be bathed or dressed by them, however, I might expect my clothes to be taken care of, washed and ironed, folded/hung up and put away. I like to cook, so perhaps, on occasion, I would allow them to cook, but dishes would be their responsibility. I would them to take heed if I am busy writing or attending to some other business and keep tabs on whatever I am drinking and while I don’t and never have expect them to run from another room to make sure my cigarette is lit, or to even light it at all, I would expect them to make sure that my lighter is always full and flinted. Checking the necessities and dashing to the store should we be low on toilet paper, milk, bread and the like would come into it as well. Knowing or learning how to organize a dinner party … I think you get the drift.

If I have no one in my service and I attend a function within Old Guard, I would like to believe that the hosting Household would endeavor to make sure I was “looked after”. But I am not one to make demands of other Syr’s or Ma’am’s bois/girls.

* As a top what service do you provide and to whom?

As a top, it would be my responsibility to teach my own. There are a lot of rituals and traditions within Old Guard and bois and girls in a household, move up in rankings according to time in service combined with abilities. I would also be responsible (in my opinion) for their welfare, whether they lived within my home or not. Ensuring they look after themselves and their belongings in a suitable manner. Being there for them to talk to … being approachable, I mean. Many other things apply but are also dependent on the boi/girl.

However, should I be approached by someone who has questions, I would endeavor to either answer, or if I didn’t know the answer, to find out. The only stupid question is the one that remains unasked. Should another Top ask me to interact with their boi or girl for whatever reason, I would consider it. We all may share commonalities but some of us excel at things that others have no interest in.

* As a bottom how do you serve?

not applicable

* As a bottom do you enjoy providing some level of service generally or prefer to offer service to only one?

not applicable

* Do you see a defining line between service and being in service?

Most definitely, if one is “in service” they may or may not be collared, since a collar is not necessary to be “owned”. To me, it is a visual indication, but “a collared heart is the most precious gift that can be given. Its measure and value is visible only to the giver and the receiver”. However, one can be delegated by their top to serve for a period of time “in service” to another top, for whatever the reason, training, organizational skills, or some other purpose.

Service on the other hand is the act of serving, whether one is owned, collared or not.

* What responsibilities do we as individuals have to serve the greater community, if any?
* If you believe we have that responsibility how do you meet it, or plan to in the future?

I’ve chosen to take these two questions together since they go hand in hand. As an Old Guard Syr, I accept the responsibility of educating others who seek to learn the traditions, rituals and ways of Old Guard. This may be a boi, girl or a junior Syr or perhaps just someone that is curious about Old Guard.

Dungeon safety is the responsibility of all who use it.

Setting a good example is also important, be it within the “lifestyle” or out in the “vanilla” world. If we are “out” to friends and acquaintances in the vanilla world, they will look to us as a peephole so to speak, they may rightly or wrongly assume that everyone is a torturing pervert and it is up to each of us to show them that is not true.

I educate others, both offline and online about Old Guard. I have overseen dungeon time in an apprentice capacity and I do try to set a good example.

* What do you think of when you hear the term service?

answered above

* As an unowned submissive what can you do to prepare yourself to serve?

not applicable

I’m sure that I have left out things that other tops will remember and mentioned things that some may not mention. I also know that some will disagree with me completely, while others will agree either in part or in entirety.

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