A Peanut Butter Mouse Feast

A friend of mine has an awesome dog named Mia Liu who is very verbose, tends to sleep until her master is in a conversation then wakes up to join in and seems to me to be an amazing furbaby. I have heard of many of her antics over the last few years and finally decided that I needed to share this one with you, my readers. I hope it brings you smiles and laughs as it did me.

Mia’s master lives somewhere in the backwoods of Pennsylvania. Their home backs onto the woods and seems (from the thuds, bangs and thunks of acorns falling onto the roof) to be surrounded by oak trees. I’ve never been to Pennsylvania, but as a history fanatic, I hope one day to go there and see first hand, Gettysburg and hopefully meet my buddy at the same time. Who knows, right? Stranger things have been known to happen.

As you may well imagine, with a house that backs onto the woods and gutters that collect acorns for both the squirrels and the mice that frequent such a locale, Mia and her master, Lucian, sometimes have indoor visits from the mice. Lucian set traps, loading them with peanut butter … mice LOVE peanut butter …and hoped for the best … or the worst, if you are a mouse.

Now, and this is where I set about trying to stretch your imaginative vision, having set the deliciously baited traps, Lucian trundles off to his bed, praying earnestly that he won’t wake up to a snake dozing under the covers and sharing the warmth with him … OH, but that is another story *winks* and settles down for the night. Snores from Lucian and puppy snorts from Mia fill the air as creatures begin their wanders. Sometime during the night, our over-friendly rodent slips into Lucian’s house to make it’s rounds in search of mislaid goodies and cookie crumbs that found their way onto the floor when all of a sudden *sniff … sniff* the mouse catches the distinct whiff of peanut butter and scurries around trying to pinpoint it.

“Oh my!”, thinks the mouse as it rounds the corner and sees the huge dollop of peanut butter resting precariously on the small metal plinth. “That peanut butter is going to go rancid if I don’t eat… I mean save it” … it would seem the mouse has delusions of being a super hero *grins*. So off trots mousey to rescue the peanut butter from it’s fate. Lick, lick, nibble THWACK and the little mouse is caught, painfully too I might add.

Well, mousey isn’t a masochist so he wriggle and squirms as best as he can on the sticky, greasy peanut butter until he finds himself free of the metal jaws of the trap, minus his head. He heaves a sigh of relief and wipes his tiny brow with an equally tiny forepaw … well, he would if it was still attached. What an opportune moment for Mia to make one of her infrequent security rounds, just in time for a snack. Mia grins and wiggles her eyebrows … (do dogs have eyebrows?) … and duly snaffles up the peanut butter covered possibly still squirming morsel thinking that dreams do come true and peanut butter cookies do come in animal shapes. Mia it seems, likes to play with her food and thus begins to do so with this “animal cookie”, but alas, the ‘cookie’ doesn’t ‘last’ long and stops playing with Mia so it is left on the floor for Lucian to dispose of.

Morning, and Lucian wakes up making his way to the kitchen to have that first essential mug of coffee and trips over … erm … spies, the slobbery, peanutty, deceased rodent with Mia licking it clean and does something akin to a gasp and scoops it up on a well-placed coal scoop, carries it outside while humming a tune aptly named “Funeral Dirge for a Mouse” and buries the tiny creature. Heaving a small sigh of relief, Lucian wanders back into the house, treats Mia to a well earned bone while vowing out loud that Mia is forbidden from giving kisses and relaxes with the now perked coffee, content that one less mousely rodent is living in the woods and that for the moment, he and Mia are safe again and Mia contented after her midnight peanut butter mouse feast.

THE End.

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