Ponderings of the sexual and serious nature

On the morning of July 25th 2014, I was making my way from Victoria coach station to Victoria tube station. It was in the midst of the morning rush hour and all around me people were heading to work, to the shops, to appointments, or perhaps they were meeting a friend for breakfast … who knows, this is London after all and strange things have been know to occur here.

It isn’t all that far from the like named coach, train and underground stations but by the time I have fought my way through barging crowds filling the pavements, across roads filled with black London taxi cabs (hackney carriages), a tourist-filled train station and into a desolate underground station I have picked up the daily issue of Metro, a free newspaper to read later.

I do not travel by underground much. The extent of my experience stems from the rare trips ‘into’ London and the trips made in the past to Prague. I can honestly say I am not all that comfortable travelling via the ‘tube’ but with underground trains running every 2 minutes to Kings Cross/St Pancras, versus a very expensive 30 minute or longer taxi ride, I know which side of the bread is buttered. So with one way ticket in hand, I make my way down the long escalator to platform level and as I round the corner, a train arrives. I step on board and glance up to find out how many stops until I can get out of the claustrophobic environment. Starting point is Victoria, check … then Green Park, Oxford Circus, Warren Street, Euston and finally, Kings Cross/St Pancras … I am stood by the door so as the doors glide open, I step out and follow the crowd into the main passageway. Okay … which way to walk for KC/SP? Ah, there is the sign and off I go … riding up the long escalator to ground level.

I could go on and on about my travels, but that is not the purpose of this piece, so I will cease my ramblings on that topic and advance to the topic at hand.

On page 9 of aforementioned Metro, is an article that caused me to burst out laughing. Well, the title of it did at any rate … but upon reading the very brief article which unlike the online one the link takes you to, included no pictures … I was stunned.

The hard copy of the article merely stated:

Removed: Sex toy after 10yrs

Surgeons have removed a sex toy that was left inside a woman’s body for ten years.

The 38-year-old visited Aberdeen Royal Infirmary in a potentially life-threatening condition after contracting sepsis. Doctors spotted the 12cm (5in) sex toy in her vagina after an X-ray and she was diagnosed with vesicovaginal fistula – a condition allowing urine to flow into the vagina. It may be the first case of its kind, the Journal of Sexual Medicine reports.

The online version of the article is more informative.

(The moral of this strange but true tale is: Always account for your sex toys.)

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