I am an OFOS (old-fashioned old-school) Butch and have on occasion been known to call myself a Dyke. I reside in England. I came out in a year when man walked on the moon and the Stonewall Riots by Drag Queens and Butches took place. They stood up for who they were with pride against the police.
I was abused for most of my teenage years, left home as soon as I was “old enough”, joined the military and tried to hide my sexuality (this was in the 70′s). The military was everything I wanted. Discipline, camaraderie, training, HARD physical stuff … in short, I LOVED it !!!
I served in the US Army and later in the US Navy. Unfortunately, while serving in the Army, I had a Drill Sergeant who’s gaydar was working a bit TOO well. I ended up being emotionally raped, forced to do things to her, for her, etc. I was told that she would tell the “right people” that I was a dyke and I would be dishonorably discharged. All I wanted was the military and I was naive enough to believe that if I went to the “right people” and told them what she was doing to me, she would be patted on the back and I would be railroaded out. Several years later, while still in the military, I was physically raped by a male also in the military, told I was not pregnant and as a result have a handsome 35 year old son who is my miracle.
One of my fondest memories while serving my country in the Navy at Mayport was that I used to do a drag king act in the Jacksonville LBGTQ bar known as “The Little Dude”.
I am now a two-time cancer survivor.
My point ??? Most everything is survivable and I have made peace with my past. I’m out and I’m proud of who I am. This space is about me, myself and I – whatever that may mean. I wish you luck in your own personal search. Feel free to contact me any time.